So, you want to know how to have anal sex. Maybe you've been curious for a while, maybe your partner brought it up, or maybe you've already tried it and are wondering if there's a way to make the whole experience feel a little less…intense. Whatever brought you here, welcome. We're talking butts.

Despite what porn (or that one friend who insists they're an expert) might have you believe, there's a lot more to anal sex than just sticking something up there and hoping for the best. And unfortunately, actual information about how to do it safely and enjoyably isn't always easy to come by.

“Unfortunately, there has always been and continues to be a severe lack of sex education, especially when it comes to anal sex,” explains anal surgeon Evan Goldstein, DO , founder of Bespoke Surgical and author of Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between .…