I’ve been playing Dark Souls recently, getting much farther than I ever have before and enjoying myself greatly. Two days ago, after several attempts and a run back to the sewers to farm some rats for Humanity, I finally defeated the infamous Ornstein and Smough (as well as the jackasses that guard the room they hang out in ) and was able to proceed into what I’m told is the second half of the game.

But first, the finale of the first act: upstairs from Ornstein and Smough is a chamber, golden light overflowing into the hallway outside. On the approach, numerous player-provided warnings of “Chest ahead” were scrawled across every free inch of the floor. Inside, an enormous woman with an enormous bosom reclining on a platform was gazing benevolently at me. Once I drew close, an action appeared: Kneel.

© FromSoftware

This is Gwynevere, the Princess of Sunlight. She’s here to reward me for all my hard work!…