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Stop Asking People to Let You Stay at Their Homes

A debate is roiling over whether hosting traveling loved ones is normal or obnoxious. There’s only one solution.

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Oct 22, 2026 5:45 AM

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The recent online debate sparked by one influencer’s “ Stop asking friends who live in NYC apartments to be your free hotel ” PSA highlighted a huge range of perspectives about community, connection, and hospitality, but ultimately left me with one straightforward piece of advice, especially as we approach holiday-season travel: Never ask to stay with anyone, in New York City or anywhere else in the world.…