"Tesla owns bitcoin" is true. It is also nearly irrelevant to anyone holding the stock.

Tesla has reported 11,509 BTC in every filing since the end of 2025. Divide that by its 3.95 billion shares and every Tesla share carries 0.00000291 BTC , about $0.24 of bitcoin. Put $1,000 into TSLA and you are holding roughly 60 cents of bitcoin. The other $999.40 is cars, batteries and AI.

Strategy (MSTR) is the opposite case. Its 848,000 BTC, spread over 384 million shares, come to $178.93 of bitcoin per share while the share closed at $139.82. So $1,000 of MSTR stock is a claim on about $1,280 of bitcoin , and the market values the whole company below the coins it holds (mNAV 0.78×).…