At some point in a long-term relationship, many couples stop being lovers and become logistics partners. The mortgage, the kids, the calendar, the endless loop of “did you pay that?”—it crowds out everything else until two people are essentially roommates with a shared Netflix account . The spark doesn’t disappear overnight. It just slowly gets buried under everything else life piles on.

According to Florida-based marriage and family therapist Cheralyn Leeby, Ph.D., LMFT, writing in Psychology Today , the most common answer she gets when she asks couples what they enjoy doing together is: “We pretty much watch TV every night.” Sorry, but sitting in the same room watching the same screen isn’t the same as actually connecting.

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Research supports this—couples benefit most from experiences that feel engaging, growth-oriented, and emotionally alive.…