Few things can derail a first date faster than the arrival of the check. Does he reach for it? Does she offer to split? Does he actually let her? And, perhaps most tellingly: Does he spend the next ten minutes explaining why women who want men to pay for dinner are hypocrites who can’t possibly believe in equality?

While in the past this little dance could be an indicator of whether someone was a “gentleman” or not, the conversations around paying for dinner carry more weight now.

I don’t think splitting the bill is inherently a red flag. But in today’s political climate, I do believe there is a difference between a man who genuinely believes in sharing expenses and one who seems personally offended by the idea of treating a woman he’s trying to impress—and I definitely don’t believe the latter is really a fan of equality.

The discourse around “who pays for dinner?” has evolved from a discussion on gender roles and date etiquette to a gross power move by men to paint any treatment toward women as…