Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife, “Kate,” and I have a 4-year-old daughter, “Teresa.” Teresa is a normal kid who is currently testing boundaries. Kate is not reacting well.

Her latest response has been to threaten Teresa with calling the police and having them take her away if she doesn’t comply with what Kate wants. Kate even goes so far as to pull out her phone and pretend to be talking to the cops, telling our daughter that they are coming to get her. This has led to numerous instances of Teresa breaking down sobbing and pleading not to be arrested. After Teresa is sufficiently terrified, Kate will eventually pretend to call the police back to tell them not to come after all.

The other day, Kate pulled the phone trick in response to Teresa refusing to wear the outfit she had chosen for her.…