How to Do It

I’m mortified.

Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Iryna Melnyk /Getty Images Plus.

Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I was sexting my boyfriend and texting one of our mutual guy friends about something completely unrelated. Think: “This is what I want you to do to me when you get home tonight” versus texts to our friend about a recent movie we’d both seen.

I had been telling my boyfriend that I was using his texts to masturbate, but I wasn’t really. I was just doing something we both find fun, even if I technically wasn’t all that horny in the moment. I was just multitasking! I can sext and clean the kitchen at the same time; these are not mutually exclusive to me.…