Have you ever wondered why it’s harder to get over your toxic, short-lived situationship than your healthy, loving, long-term relationship? (If you can’t relate, consider yourself lucky.)

Time and time again, I scroll on TikTok and hear countless stories from daters claiming they’re more distraught over someone who won’t actually commit to them than they are over a breakup with someone they thought was “the one.” For a while, I couldn’t fathom why, exactly, this might be. That is, until I researched the science behind this phenomenon—and experienced it myself.

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Here are three reasons a situationship breakup might hit harder than an actual relationship ending.

1. You’re Grieving What Could Have Been

Oftentimes, situationships trigger grief over potential.…