Name: Airport lounge wars.

Age: American Airlines opened the first airport lounge in 1939 .

Appearance: Dripping in caviar and cocktails.

Airport lounge wars – is this a TV show where teams of would-be hospitality entrepreneurs compete to design and deliver airport lounge experiences for a demanding celebrity jury? No (but I’d absolutely watch that). It’s the arms race to provide increasingly extravagant lounges to persuade customers to shell out for first-class plane tickets or fancy credit cards that grant access, as reported by the Washington Post .

Hang on, my credit card gives me lounge access! You queue up in a dingy corridor and eventually, if a scowling woman in a blazer deems you worthy, you get a picked-over buffet of dried-out ham and mini croissants , plus the chance to fight for an uncomfortable chair, still warm from the previous set of buttocks.…