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A few weeks ago, my daughter came home from second grade, and she told me she wasn’t invited to her friend Samantha’s birthday party. I asked her if she knew how many kids were invited, and she told me twenty. I was incensed. It was a big party, not a small, exclusive gathering, and my baby was left out. I knew that, in that moment, I could do two things: acknowledge that being left out hurts, or pick up the phone and call Samantha’s mom to secure an invitation. I had to deliberately focus on the former and stop myself from instinctually choosing the latter because, these days, it seems like we are all defaulting to the phone call.

The instinct is understandable. We all hate watching our children suffer. But we need to remember that there is a clear difference between supporting our children through disappointment and making sure they never experience it.

OUR KIDS AREN’T BROKEN.…