Before I was a trusted food writer, beloved journalist, and renowned recommender of gifts, I was a son. A son with a mother. So, as you can imagine, I take Mother’s Day very seriously. Surely, the woman who gave the world a gift as spectacular as, well, me deserves something pretty special in return.

I do realize that there are all types of mothers out there — some who make excellent fruit tarts and possess a Julia Child-esque charm, sure, but plenty of others who are, say, extroverted and love power tools, or are scientists or patent lawyers, or sauvignon blanc moms who collect Rae Dunn mugs , or others yet who love afternoon tea and crocheting and hushed gossip. For instance, just because mine doesn’t drink doesn’t mean your boozer of a mom should wind up empty-handed. Also, there are all types of maternal figures out there who deserve celebration, not just moms. Maybe your mom is dead, or you don’t have a good relationship with her — or both!…