Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister, “Ellie,” is dating “Jordan.” He’s into the sovereign citizen movement, anti-government and very into some crunchy hippie stuff. As time goes on, she’s adopted more of his views. They work at a remote ranch, surrounded by similar minded people. She doesn’t speak to the rest of our family, and so I’m her remaining link to a more mainstream world. Now they’re expecting a baby and I find myself trying to triage my pushback against some choices she’s making.

How do I decide what’s the most important, and how do I maintain this relationship when I think she’s making some dangerous decisions?

Ellie plans to do a home birth. Our state doesn’t have a highly qualified midwife program. I had a terrible hospital experience with my own child.…