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Even though I’m trying hard to ignore the calendar, the holiday season is nearly here. Between stirring up batches of homemade mincemeat (yes, I really do) and preparing a guest list, my mind has turned to the collision of generational habits around the dinner table.

While I was taught to politely remove my shoes at the door and never arrive empty-handed — how much does this old–school etiquette stand up today? You might get away with bending the rules around close family, but how should you behave when under the roof of a less familiar host?

Luckily, you don’t need to guess the right social etiquette when you’re attending a holiday party, because furniture company Joybird has done the groundwork for you. It surveyed over 2,800 U.S. adults to pinpoint what modern houseguest courtesy looks like, from non-negotiable house rules and off-limits conversations to outdated customs.…