The educator hailed as a hero for throwing a cellphone at a teenage gunman during a deadly attack on a Bend, Oregon, elementary school said Friday that “the pain of this loss I will carry with me forever.”

Cassidy Schutz was identified by the school district Friday as the staff member who engaged with the shooter during the attack at Silver Rail Elementary School , which left four people dead.

“There are no words to describe the depth of sadness I am feeling following the events of October 15th. This is not a story. This is a horrific and heartbreaking tragedy, and it is our real lives,” Schutz said in a statement released by Bend-La Pine Schools.

Schutz, a certified learning specialist at the school, was called heroic after she threw her phone at 16-year-old gunman and wrestled him over the shotgun.

An armed community member passing by saw the gunman and followed him into the school, fatally shooting him as he was in the physical confrontation, police have said.

“It all happened so fast, and I wish…