Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I watch my 12-year-old granddaughter, “Rose,” after school until my daughter “Cathy” gets off work. Rose is autistic. Sometimes it goes fine, and sometimes she can’t regulate. As she gets older and I get older, it has become more difficult; she’s getting stronger and I’m not. Last month, Rose had a meltdown in the pharmacy parking lot and ran into the traffic lane, and I couldn’t stop her. She could have been hit by a car. I was terrified and told Cathy that I wasn’t able to safely care for Rose anymore, but she said there is nowhere else for Rose to go.

Cathy works a shift job, so her schedule isn’t flexible. The district doesn’t offer after-school care for kids Rose’s age. My daughter can’t afford a babysitter every day, and neither can I.…