How to Do It

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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband “B” has been on a GLP-1 for a year. Seeing close family members struggle with weight-related health issues prompted him to address his weight medically. He has lost about 85 pounds so far, and I couldn’t be happier for him! He’s leaning into buying new clothes, getting more active, and is generally pleased to have shed the extra weight. The problem is me.

I’m a bear chaser. It’s not a fetish, though. B is more than just a body to me. I still love his personality and charm, but I miss my hairy-chested, bearded man with thick thighs and a belly. Now that B has dropped the weight, I hate to say it, but I simply find him less sexually attractive. How do I navigate our sex life, now that B is not “my type”? I want to keep an active sex life with him.…