I t was as if John Healey was taking the Hippocratic oath. First do no harm. For your first budget, this may be no bad thing: we can all think of plenty of chancellors who have done untold damage. Take a bow George Osborne. It might just have been better if the doctor that Healey had chosen to impersonate was not Dr Death.

John can’t help looking like the last man you would want to stop by your hospital bed. Not everyone can have a naturally sunny disposition. His face seems to be carved out of despair. But it would be a big help if, when called upon to make his most important speech of the year, he didn’t reinforce the impression when he opened his mouth. A one-way journey to the slough of despond.

“I’m very sorry to let you know, Mr Crace,” he would say with Voldemort delight. “But your cancer is now terminal. You have months to live.” And just when you are trying to process what he’s said and are preparing to say your goodbyes, he would let you know he had made a mistake.…