Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband “Mark” has a 6-year-old daughter, “April,” from his previous marriage. Mark’s relationship with his ex, “Kirsty,” can be described as volatile to say the least. April’s kindergarten class is putting on a play in less than three weeks,, and I am concerned that Kirsty will try to make a scene in front of the other parents and the kids. This isn’t catastrophizing on my part; she’s done it before.

She caused chaos during April’s preschool graduation. While all the parents were assembled to see the kids receive their diplomas, Kirsty began talking loudly to her then-boyfriend about how much better he was in bed than Mark and flinging insults at him. The other parents were thoroughly offended, the kids became upset, and the school staff ejected her.…