What no one tells you about arriving at the life you always wanted

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Photo by Ben White ( Unsplash )

I was eating char kway teow at a food stall this afternoon when it occurred to me that I had nothing to complain about. The queue had been short. The noodles were good. The fan overhead was actually working. My work was going fine.

And I felt, sitting there with soy sauce on my thumb, vaguely uncomfortable.

Not sad. Not worried. Just… slightly off. Like wearing a shirt that fits perfectly but backwards.

I didn’t know what to do with that.

Here’s what nobody prepares you for: the strange unease of a life that is, by most reasonable measures, going well.

We spend years oriented toward problems. If I just get this job. If I just move to a better apartment. If I just get out of this relationship, this city, this phase.…