Ours was a wonderfully weird time, the Diwali of the mid-2000s. The festival remains eternal, but the era is distinguished by one piece of visual evidence — the fairy lights. They were a riot of colour, a celebration of the entire palette. Recreate that spectacle today, and it might be dismissed as cringe.

In that noisy era, football was noisy too, untouched by media training and calibrated statements. A Manchester United captain tore into his teammates, on the club’s own channel nonetheless, after a humiliating defeat. A Swedish youngster declined a trial at one of England’s grandest clubs because he “did not do auditions”.

The anything-goes age also gave the world two of its greatest stars. Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi won’t be seen playing international football again.

In the summer of 2007, Messi was compared to Diego Armando Maradona , a burden he would carry for the rest of his career.…