Politics

For the First Time in 18 Years, It’s Safe to Lib Out

You can have a little Liberal Millennial Optimism, as a treat.

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Nov 04, 2026 2:10 PM

The Asahi Shimbun via Getty Images

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This morning, I arose to texts from nearly all the women I know in America: “Woke up this morning and jerked it.” In synchronicity, we all granted ourselves the gift of a hard-won orgasm. What better way to ring in the Democrats’ historic landslide victories across the country in the midterm elections than stretching out in your bed and immediately ruining No-Nut November for yourself?…