Good Job

I won’t let that happen.

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Good Job is Slate’s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Good Job,

My dad worked 60- to 80-hour weeks and never saw the house in daylight. He was a complete void in my life growing up, and to this day, he can’t name my favorite subject or what sport I played in high school. We had the “good life” with a big house, big vacations, and big gifts, but I never wanted to replicate that experience with my own kids. My wife and I are expecting, and we both work fairly reasonable and OK paying jobs. Our cars are old but paid off; we can pay our bills and save money. But vacations are more about visiting Grandma than Grenada.

The problem is my brother-in-law is more like my dad.…