There’s a certain expectation when it comes to orgasms : that they’re the goal, the finish line, the obvious best part of whatever type of sex you’re having. Everything builds toward that one moment, and once you get there, voilà. Done.

But not everyone is chasing that outcome.

Enter the ruined orgasm: a kind of sexual play where stimulation is intentionally interrupted before climax. Instead of release, you’re left right on the edge, the sensation cut off just as it peaks. It sounds frustrating (because it is), but for some people, that’s exactly what makes it appealing.

"A ruined orgasm is a type of sexual experience that occurs when stimulation is stopped, interfered with, or reduced just before orgasm," explains kink instructor and sex expert Julieta Chiara .…