A groundswell of outrage is brewing among wholesome “goody two-shoes,” rules-followers who watched too much educational kids’ programming growing up and/or vocally identified with Lisa Simpson. Judging from anecdotal responses (mine, mostly), this palpable wave of aggrievement stems from new cancer research out of the University of Southern California’s Keck School of Medicine.

The new study, which surveyed 187 young patients diagnosed with lung cancer, has found an infuriating link between the incidence of lung cancer and these patients’ statistically higher consumption of healthy foods, including dark green vegetables and legumes.…