Henry, 63

double quotation mark I stopped trying to initiate sex. If it passed the six-month mark, she would initiate. Like she wanted to be a dutiful wife

Kelly and I met in our early 20s in a gym-slash-nightclub – she was an aerobics teacher and I was a bartender. I remember spying her incredible figure from afar, through all the chrome decor and disco balls. A year after marrying, we became parents and the sexiness got squeezed by screaming children, bills and responsibilities.

During these fraught years, I would frequently initiate sex, but I was often met with “my hair is a mess” or “the dishes are not done” – and eventually, I stopped trying. If it passed the six-month mark Kelly would initiate, but I got the sense she was just playing the dutiful wife. She would want to do it with the lights off and the covers up to her chin.

When our kids left the nest, all of our tensions around child-rearing went away, but so many issues remained around how much I was spending and socialising.…