My closest friendships came from motherhood. They didn't last.

The author doesn't speak to her mom friends anymore. Courtesy of the author

I formed deep friendships through my children's lives.

Distance and life changes made it harder to maintain those bonds.

I still value those friendships, even as they've faded.

At 5 a.m. every Thursday morning, my phone pings with a text from my friend. This early morning communication is a yearslong tradition that began when we lived in the same time zone. My 5 a.m. is her 8 a.m., a much more reasonable hour for a check-in.

She and I met through our children. She has four — two girls and two boys. I have five — four boys and one girl. They are close in age, so she and I spent a lot of time together at school functions , sports competitions, and kid-themed social gatherings.

When she was diagnosed with cancer , I kept her company as she recovered from grueling treatments. She accompanied me to a few of my own medical procedures.…