Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I have two kids, “Anna,” 7, and “Cory,” 12. Cory is now at the age where he thinks he’s too cool for family gatherings. He doesn’t want to have to travel with us to his grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving and wants to go to his best friend’s for the holiday instead. My husband thinks we should let him go, but I think Thanksgiving is a time for families to be together and he needs to come with us. Twelve is too young for our son to decide who he spends Thanksgiving with, correct?

—Home Is Not Where His Heart Is

Dear Home,

I’ll get my own bias out of the way and say that, like you, ideally I’d want both my kids with me for Thanksgiving. (While they’re kids!…