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There is a time when "tough love" isn't appropriate. And when a spouse, family member or friend is dealing with the consequences of bladder cancer, that is certainly not what is called for.

While space limits any in-depth description, bladder cancer can go from something that is easily treated, to requiring removal of the bladder ( cystectomy ). Urine is then emptied in several ways, one of which is an ileal conduit ( urostomy ) diverting it to an external pouch the patient wears and empties several times a day. That is the basis of today's story.

"Mr. Beaver, I am a member of a bladder cancer support group — all older, former military, as are many of our wives.…