Pay Dirt

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Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My brother and his wife have struggled financially since their employer closed down several years ago. (They weren’t doing the best even before then, for various reasons, some they could have controlled, others that were unexpected.) My wife and I had been helping them out financially with utility bills for the past several years, and this has been a point of contention between us. Finally, we compromised and agreed that we would put them on our cellphone plan and that would be the limit of our financial help.…