Opinion

Writer and reviewer April 27, 2026 — 5:00am

A big shoutout to the City of Port Phillip or – in the spirit of this story – a quiet little clap. The Melbourne council – perhaps inspired by Transport for NSW’s recent crackdown – has pushed to ban dangerous, noisy jet skis within 200 metres of its many popular beaches, in a move that is piquing the interest of other coastal authorities.

Now that these aquatic pests are under the pump, I reckon it’s time to turn our attention inland to the greatest threat to world peace. Or suburban harmony at the very least.

Leaf blowers are like a snow dome when you shake it hard. Who knows where the bits will land? iStock

The infamous leaf blower.

I cannot believe the leaf blower is allowed to exist. There are so many things wrong with this dunderhead invention, I barely know where to start. I’ll take it slowly.…