How to Do It

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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband of 43 years constantly brings up going to a “sex club.”

I hesitantly agreed, and I asked if he was OK with me having sex with another man. He said that he could not answer that question. I feel a bit let down that he did not say it would bother him. We seem to have a good sex life, but that is only my opinion. Am I way off base?

—Somewhat Concerned Wife

Dear Somewhat Concerned Wife,

One potential explanation for your husband’s answer is that he is being realistic. He cannot answer the question of whether or not he’d be OK with you having sex with another man because it has not yet happened.…