While watching season 3 of Netflix’s Nobody Wants This , I was struck with a thought that even hot rabbi Noah could not dissuade me from: No one should have to lose this much of herself for a man. This season, Joanne converts to Judaism, takes a step back from her podcast and her career, and gives up her dream wedding. Controversial take, but you should not have to do all that to be in a relationship.

Joanne embarks on her conversion courses this season at Noah’s former temple, Temple Chai. On the first day, she says she’s converting because she had an epiphany that she was “meant to be by a rabbi’s side.” Her deliberation over whether to convert to Judaism is a central theme of the series, so I’m not arguing that she shouldn’t be weighing this or pursuing it. But it’s a bit startling how quick she is to center Noah and his future in the decision.…