Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My mother-in-law, “Gladys,” kicked out her husband, “Rich,” six months ago after she caught him in bed with a woman half his age. Rich is still involved with the side piece, and they plan on getting married in the spring. Gladys has asked that our family boycott the wedding. I think what Rich did was beyond skeevy and can understand where Gladys is coming from. I think we should honor her request in solidarity.

However, today my husband said that his father has asked that our youngest daughter (age 4) serve as the flower girl! Even worse, my husband agreed! For reasons only he can understand, he wants to maintain a relationship with Rich. But I think having our daughter serve as the flower girl would be a terrible betrayal.…