Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My daughter “Clara’s” biological father committed a violent sexual assault while we were married and received a lengthy prison sentence for it. She wasn’t even 2 at the time, so I made a decision about what to tell her.

I told my daughter that her biological father was dead. I never expected him to walk free. I divorced him and remarried a couple of years later, and my husband adopted her. (He is now deceased.) Because of the nature of my ex’s offense, I kept up with his parole hearings. Recently, I was horrified to learn he had been granted parole.

Clara is now married with two children under 5. I am terrified that my ex will come searching for her. I know I need to tell her the truth about her father before he contacts her.…