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Beth Gillette for Cosmopolitan

Poring over magazines as a preteen, it seemed like the key to success was a swipe of red lipstick . Need to go from day to night in a pinch? Red lipstick. Want to feel like a bombshell on a first date? Red lipstick. It’s been a symbol of status and power for centuries, when ancient Egyptian elites would grind up dead beetles and tap the vivid juice on their lips. More recently, in 2024, the idea of “red lipstick theory” went viral, wherein creators The Lipstick Lesbians noted that wearing nothing but red lipstick can make your skin look more even and glowy. Heck, even the most famous woman in the world, Taylor Swift , is rarely seen without her signature MAC Ruby Woo lips.

On the contrary, I’m just shy of turning 30, and as it apparently goes in your Saturn return , I’ve never felt so disconnected from myself.…