Riddle me this: You can be killing it at work, have a solid group of friends, and generally feel pretty fucking good about yourself. But the second your clothes come off? Suddenly, you're wondering if your stomach looks weird, whether you're taking too long to finish , and if your partner is secretly judging that thing your body just did. Sound familiar?

Yeah, it turns out having high self-esteem doesn't necessarily mean you have high sexual self-esteem. I know.

The tricky thing about low sexual self-esteem is that it doesn't always look like insecurity, explains Blair Ibarra , clinical consult manager at Octave Mental Health . Sometimes, it looks like constantly putting your partner's pleasure ahead of your own, struggling to ask for what you want, or feeling like you have to perform instead of actually enjoying yourself.

So, what is sexual self-esteem, exactly, and how can you improve yours?…