I t’s a very modern phenomenon, the nuisance of people on public transport using their phones for flagrantly loud things – conference calls, TV shows, music – without headphones. I remember a time when the most annoying thing you could do with a phone was play a game with an irritating beep; a time when having a loud conversation was so verboten that comedians could get whole careers out of it. So why does Andy Burnham’s campaign , “Share the carriage, not the noise,” introducing fines of up to £100 for miscreants, feel so nostalgic? And crucially, will the fines work?

Burnham is on to something, because it is insufferable. I could lose hours debating the finer points of whether it’s worse to listen to an episode of Paw Patrol, a crux point in a Pretty Little Liars plot, some really mid-80s disco or a high-level discussion about marketing strategy. (In fact, there is no hierarchy; they’re all intolerable in their own special ways.)

Prime ministers have tried this kind of thing before.…