Friendship expert Danielle Bayard Jackson recently came to a realization about her social media engagement: Any time she posts content that centers the viewer as the wronged party of the story she is telling — like how to know if your friends are venting too much or why your friendship expectations feel mismatched — it performs extremely well with her 420,000-plus followers across Instagram and TikTok .

“We tend to really notice when we are done wrong, when others are forgetting about us,” Jackson said. “We are center to the story.”

These numbers are part of a larger shift that Jackson and other experts have observed when it comes to modern friendship. These relationships are increasingly seen as something to engage in when it’s convenient or beneficial — specifically when they are beneficial to you . In short, friendship today has a touch of selfishness.…