Care and Feeding

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Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My ex “Walter” and I share 50/50 custody of our 12-year-old son, “Aaron,” and alternate who has him for holidays each year. This is Walter’s year to have Aaron for Halloween, and I am furious with the costume he is allowing our son to wear.

I have no idea where he found it, but Aaron plans to go dressed as a giant asshole! Even though the costume is not 100 percent anatomically accurate, it’s abundantly clear what it is, and I am disgusted. Both Walter and Aaron think it’s the funniest thing in the world. When I voiced my objections to Walter, he said I could “piss off” and that when Aaron is with him for Halloween, I have no say in what he wears.…