The latest in the half-century-and-counting war that will not and cannot ever be one is that unmanned narco-subs will now be booby-trapped as they make their way across the Atlantic to the European market, which sees an estimated 1,500 tons of cocaine from Latin America annually.

Per a recent Telegraph exposé, conflict analysts believe this is in direct response to recent U.S. military strikes on vessels—and perhaps in some cases humble commercial fisherfolk—allegedly trafficking drugs by sea.

The lightweight subs, reportedly built in “clandestine shipyards along the Colombian coastline and camouflaged to avoid detection,” are naturally more successful being sub-surface voyagers. But they still get blown up, too. Lightweight as they may be, they’re still designed to carry up to nine tons of cocaine on a single voyage, worth something like $800m USD.

The subs are programmed to detonate upon unwanted contact, blowing INTERPOL—or whomever—to smithereens.…