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I will start by saying that I know I should expect a fish sandwich to taste like fish. I just didn’t expect it to taste this much like fish. Nul points to the poached salmon and spinach triangle, one of four in the Marks & Spencer “seafood selection” box. Otherwise it’s a perfectly decent prawn mayo, a solid and dependable tuna sweetcorn and a rather impressive smoked salmon and cream cheese. B-.

If you wanted an exceptional attempt at the form, I suggest you head to Quo Vadis on Dean Street in Soho for its smoked eel, just shy of £20. I recommend balık ekmek , too – you know, the mackerel, sumac and onion baguette sold under the Galata Bridge in Istanbul, duh. But that’s enough about Silver Spoon’s advanced tastes. I am at the Marks & Spencer café on floor four of the chain’s flagship Marble Arch store.…