How to Do It

How do I fix this?

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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My wife and I have been long-distance for our entire four-year relationship. We have good sex, but it seems like she has enjoyed it less as time goes on.

I always ask her about her experience afterward, and she is always honest and tells me if there were things she didn’t like. But she isn’t as loud or emphatic as she was when we first started having sex. We aren’t moaners anyway, but I can tell she doesn’t orgasm as often as she used to.

I trained myself to last for a shorter amount of time because I used to take so long that she would get sore. Now, though, I think I am too short.…