r/mentalhealth

2h ago

u/CaitVi587

Have to police my emotions constantly at home. Tired of masking.

Need Support

For reference I'm 20. I'm a trans guy and I'm autistic/adhd. I had very bad depression for around a year and a half as well as really bad anxiety but therapy and meds and then finally hrt and actually starting medical transition brought that way down.

However. It's still here some days.

I have been stuck doing basically nothing but schoolwork and work. When I'm not doing that I barely have energy so I play on my phone or scroll. I know it's a terrible habit and I shouldn't do it so much but I've started to lose the want to do my hobbies again. Or well, I want to do them but then get stuck on what to do, so I don't do them at all, if that makes any shred of sense.

Anyways. Basically home doesn't feel that safe anymore. Like alarm bells go off in my brain every time I come back from school to home saying "not safe.…