Welcome to Open Tab , a weekly column covering the news, gossip, and stories that have stayed open in my tabs all week. Last time we covered the Cheesecake Factory culture war .

Death, taxes, and Martha Stewart doing something weird online every six to eight weeks: These are the constants in our ever-chaotic lives. This round involved a quickly deleted Instagram post showing Stewart apparently dressed as a homeless person—she was holding a clipboard (?) with a message in marker that read “I am hungry help me!!”

She released a series of statements apologizing for the gaffe, and at one point seemed to blame Today show host Craig Melvin, who, she said, spilled chocolate on the sweater she’d planned on wearing to a costume party later that night, forcing her to improvise a new costume on the fly.

But enough of Martha!…