I just realized, that all the characters I despise in every media (I mean the character itself not the writing, their writing is good) are similar to me. The traits they have in their personality, the ones that make me not like them, are traits I have. I thought I stopped hating myself constantly, because I don't think at it all the time, but I do unconsciously. I hate every trait of personality I have, every behavior. I hate how I act, etc, but I try not to be a burden or a jerk to others, when I say I hate my behavior, I hate my behavior towards myself.