On an ordinary day, the love of my life relapsed and overdosed in his car. He was missing for over 24 hours. He had been dead the whole time. In the front seat of his car at a kids park. I had an awful gut feeling. But he was right down the steet, i came within a few hundred feet and missed it. He promised he would never do that to me. He was my fiance and best friend. He said he would take care of me when i grow old. Said Hed never hurt me. But watching them load him from the car into the body bag hurt more than any pain ive ever experienced in my life. Like an out of body experience. He wanted children, which i put off due to finances. And due to me having a sense he was using. But i got so frusterated with him towards the end. I just kind of shut down emotionally. I should have forced him into rehab. I should have held on to him and never let him leave that night. Now im in our apartment. With our pets looking for him . An apartment i cannot afford alone. I dont understand.…