I'm not sure how to say this because i feel so utterly pathetic but me and my bf have been together since the start of this year, and at the beginning of our relationship i did some stalking. i ended up finding his comments on nsfw pics girls had posted and it's been haunting my brain. he can have a past, i'm not denying him sexual feelings before me, but as an insecure girl all i can do is compare myself to those girls. they were beautiful and i'm not conventionally attractive at all. i've also suffered with an ED basically my whole life and have never been underweight so i basically feel like a grotesque monster that he has to settle with.
i love him so much and i can't imagine being with another man nor would i want to, but i don't know how to stop this feeling?