I don’t want to be here i never asked to be here why can’t I leave? why is it seen as a bad thing for wanting I don’t think i’ll have anything near to a normal life and im at the point i rather be dead than be retarded im really not trying at shit anymore I want to isolate myself again and live the rest of my life like that i want something to change im just so terrified of that change being the “wrong“ change that i try to prevent that change over and over again and before i realize it something has change and i’ve too busy caught up in my own thoughts that i just feel like i’m back and square one i hate it i want to kill my self i want to be done with this shit